Quantum Angst

"I can't decide what I want. Will you split these two things with me?"


I can't tell you how many times I've asked this of a fellow diner at a restaurant. Always someone I'm with, swear! I become infinitely more fond of anyone who says yes. My husband used to say yes regularly till he had me hooked; now I really have to beg.

Entrees are divisible. Circumstances are not. 

I can have half an omelet and half a French Toast.

My daughter cannot simultaneously have her shoes on and have her shoes off. Yet, time after time lately, this seems to be exactly what she wants. Or, to simultaneously have her sandals on and her boots on.

I cannot, just for example, have half an only child and half a family of four.
(Disclaimer: for the purposes of this discussion, it matters not at all that said husband wants an only child. So, if he happens to read this, we need not have that discussion again ... right now.)


I am quite sure that many parents have the same internal debate after their first child that I am having now.

Me: "She should have a little brother/sister."

Myself: "She's great just the way she is, and we're all happy."

I: "But maybe down the road, you & she will wish you had."

Me: "Well, maybe if we do, we'll wish we hadn't."

Myself: "You're not getting any younger, maybe you should just consider yourself lucky that you had one wildly healthy child."

I: "40's the new 30, and I'm ONLY THIRTY-FIVE!!!!"

And so on. ad nauseum.

Here's the thing. What I want. What I really want. Is both. At the same time.

This is not unique to the only child v. second child debate. This is my life.

I do not actually understand quantum mechanics. What I sort of get is that a subatomic particle cannot simultaneously be in two physical states at one time.

I'm just a Sci-Fi nerd with some angst. I see it beginning in my daughter on a smaller scale. I call it quantum angst.

We can't be the only ones who wants it both ways? Or can we?