You know what else is cheaper than therapy? Yoga. And? It's fantastic exercise.
I first got into yoga seriously around 2005. I truly feel it helped me settle into me. So many things changed about my life around that same time, but I started being more comfortable with me right. then.
At one point I was going to 4 or 5 classes every week. The studio was close to my work and my home. Then my home moved, then my work. I managed a class here & there for a time, but finally petered out. When I got pregnant, I decided to go back. I went about once a week during most of my pregnancy, then practiced at home for the last month or so. I think my yoga practice was a huge part of me achieving my goal of a natural birth - and doing so pleasantly!
Since my daughter arrived 2 years ago? Not so much yoga. Maybe 10 times in 2 years. Maybe.
Finally, as though the universe wanted me to go, I heard about a studio close to work. It so happens to also be close to my parents' home. It is a wonderful, wonderful place. (Check it out, locals!) I've been 4 times in 16 days. Hooked; well - re-hooked.
I'm not just being cheeky by referencing yoga being cheaper than therapy. The reason I decided to go back now, other than just now hearing about this great place, is that I had decided to go off "my meds." I had pretty serious anxiety when my daughter first came. It persisted at a tolerable (sort of, usually) level throughout the first year. I never wanted to go on anything because I wanted breastfeeding to be totally risk free. (Or something.) Anyway, I took a little help thereafter and until a few weeks ago. I've had a couple rough days here and there. Even one since I started back to yoga. But for the most part, feeling darn good.
It occurred to me tonight, that writing down the positive thoughts yoga helps me generate might help make them last outside the studio / off the mat. This is mostly for me, but if it helps anyone else - or tempts you to yoga - all the better.
Tonight's yoga thoughts: Self-Seeing
I had two conflicting images of myself throughout the day today. I often do. I shall call it my personal dichotomy.
ONE – inept ditz
TWO – capable, caring professional.
I had/have good reasons for both.
When I left work, I was kicking myself over the reasons for Image ONE. In fact, I almost forgot about all reasons for Image TWO.
To my credit, I decided to just let go of Image ONE. I enjoyed a little time with my daughter before yoga class.
But then at some point during class, I remembered Image TWO, fully & completely – like an “oh, yeah” moment.
I really have no good explanation for how the thought entered my mind.
Perhaps it had something to do with getting into a pose I never had, or hadn’t in years – that happened at least twice tonight.
Hot on its heels was the thought – why did I let the negative image take over? Even for a little while? But you know what – it was only a little while, and that’s why I’ll keep going back.
I have more to say on Self-Seeing, as well as my personal dichotomy. But there will plenty of time for that.