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Friday, August 26, 2011

Pre-Mommy Confessional

All this talk about mommy guilt & mommy bullying has me feeling - well, guilty.


Because, before I was a mom, I kind of was a bully. Only in my head, but still.

I was the single traveler silently judging the haggard mom dragging the screaming baby on to the last flight out.
Pre-baby me: "Why would you ever take a baby on such a late flight? I'll never do that!"
Post-baby me: "Because sometimes that's the only flight that works. And that's exactly what you're doing in about a month."

I was the well-read pregnant lady who simply knew that I would never end up sleeping in a rocking chair with my baby. Yep, silently judging sleep-deprived work pals.
Pre-baby me: "All you have to do is just follow the books. Life will work out just like they say!"
Post-baby me: "PLEASE BURN THOSE BOOKS." I think this as I wish fervently for a time machine & fall asleep on a travel mattress with my baby.

Perhaps this is why I can so easily recognize the silent judgement in the eyes of other pre-parents. That "not gonna happen to me" look. Worse of course is the "didn't happen to me" look from present parents. It makes me want to run to my predecessor parents and beg their forgiveness!

On the bright & self-growth side, it makes me work very hard at not judging other parents now. When I hear someone talking about their school-age child or teenager, and I think I'll do something differently (i.e. better), I immediately counter with this:
You have NO IDEA what it will be like. You have NO IDEA how you'll handle that.

Hey, that's a pretty good lesson for life in general. Being a parent is good stuff, no matter what your philosophy.
Best of luck to all parents of today AND tomorrow! (And, what the heck, to everyone!)


  1. Haha, I was a pre-baby judge, too. 3 days of no sleeping and I would lull Lily to sleep on my chest while I dozed on the couch. What's worse is that I think that went on for about 3 weeks. Oh well, she lived :) Happy weekend!

  2. The difference between our pre- and post-baby perspectives is astounding! LOL I wrote a post recently about all the "Rules" we make up about how we will raise our kids - and how we break every single one of them in short order once we become moms.

    Welcome to The Mom Pledge Community!

  3. Welcome to the Mom Pledge community. The best part is we who are there won't say "I told you so!" We accept you now as One Of Us. (more zombie nation than cool club nation...LOL) If only my pre-baby self could see how often my kids have eaten at MacDonalds!