Wasted Time, Tea Time & a Tale of Two Pizzas

In my 20's, I was a bit wild.
And when I say that - I mostly mean I frequently drank too much & made some poor choices.

Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.

- Rita Mae Brown

Now that I'm a momma, my lifestyle is much tamer.
Not that I'm exactly tame. But I wouldn't say I'm wild.

Except sometimes.
Sometimes I forget.

Just for example, let's say my kiddo goes to Oma&Papa's for a sleepover, and I have the neighborhood gals over for a few games and a few drinks.
So easy to forget in those moments how different life really is.
You get to having fun, feeling like your old self.
So easy to go a little overboard.

Then the next day, kiddo returns.
Kiddo witnesses mommy's head in the toilet no fewer than 4 times.
Kiddo pats mommy on back & tells her "It's okay. You're okay."
Mommy feels really good about herself. Really good indeed.

But there are good moments too. Like, sometimes when you just can't care about details, you remember that sometimes that's a really neat thing?

Since I couldn't cook, we got a pizza.
Since I couldn't argue, I said yes when Hubben asked to eat in front of football on TV.
And you know what? It was fabulous.
Those Papa John's breadsticks were the first things to stay down all day.
Thank you, PJ. You rule.
And watching football was so snuggly and, honestly, something we enjoy together.

Most meals are at the table, facing each other & talking about our days. But football meals are special too.

Still, I was just a little off that day. And, insanely, the next day too.
And, heartbreakingly, I could see this in my daughter.
Not that things were bad. I just didn't quite feel connected. And I could tell she didn't either.
Yuck. Major yuck.

But the day after that, I busted out the new teaset we got in the mail. (Thank you, Kohl's Cash!)
I threw the leftover pizza in the oven.
And we all drank the heck out of some "tea" while it cooked.
No work. Just fun.

Most meals take me some effort to prepare. I enjoy it.
My daughter can sometimes help. It's fun.
But not as much fun as a tea party.
Let's be honest.
So, sometimes - leftover pizza is pretty special.

We ate it at the table btw. :)

The point is - if you screw up or let yourself down, don't wallow in it.
Be there for the little one who needs you.
Dust yourself off, and pour yourself a nice Cuppa.

Just a little more summer ...

In Florida, it's not at all Fall yet. If you think that cool breeze feels like Fall, you're new. That's a hurricane. It doesn't really feel like Summer either though, what with all the school buses & such.
But that doesn't mean I can't cook like it's still summer. You know - not turning the stove on & so forth.
I almost made up a recipe tonight. Not surprisingly the inspiration came from Pinterest. I think. I can't find the Pin now, but I haven't had an original idea since I joined the site. So, I'm guessing.
Here it is:

I'm calling it "Not so Pokey Tuna Bowl". Here's what I did:

• 1 large can albacore tuna, drained
• 2 medium avocado, chopped
• 1/2 English cucumber, seeded & chopped
• ~1/2 bunch green onions, chopped
• 1 large mango, peeled & chopped

I piled all that in a bowl. A pretty one, because I felt like it. S&P on top. Then I made a quick dressing in a separate bowl:

• 1 tsp garlic powder (because I couldn't find the chopped cloves)
• 1/2 tsp dry ginger
• 1 tsp rice vinegar
• 1 tsp soy sauce (light, because I have it)
• 1 TBSP canola oil

I whisked together & drizzled over. Gently combine the salad ingredients with a wooden spoon. I served it with a few whole grain Scoops.

In case you don't get the pun ... a Poke bowl is a popular dish in Hawaii. It has raw sushi-grade tuna, rather than the Charlie variety. Also it was not pokey at all; it came together rather quickly.

The Hubben loved it. The Munchkin. Well, she liked the avocado & chips. Her cup'o'PB was a much bigger hit over the weekend.

That's fine, kiddo. Momma's looking forward to leftovers for lunch tomorrow. Light, refreshing, a little exotic. Yum onward, my friends!

Props & Holding Back. Going Deeper or Opening Up

Have you seen this pose?

This pose scares the crap out of me. It always has. In Wheel, your feet are on the ground, but you're upside down. There's also this sense of vulnerability. for one - somewhere in the back of my head, I assume that some day, I'll break my neck. For another - although everyone else is in the same position, I have this fear of someone poking me in the belly - Doughboy-style.
But a couple weeks ago, I did it without fear. (I did not look like the picture.) The teacher asked us to put a block between our legs. The idea was to remind us not to splay our knees.
What it did for me though - was kept me from throwing my hips up higher than I really was ready to.

Do you ever do that in life? Push yourself a little harder than you really should? I do! Has it ever occurred to you that holding back a little might actually be a good way to get ahead? Weird, right? But true.

That block is a prop. I used to not like props in yoga. And, actually - sometimes I still don't.

Example - balances.
If I am within arms reach of a wall during standing balances, I will touch it. If not, I can't. Simple as that. Sometimes, sure - I wobble or fall out of the pose completely. But often, I just find a way to stay steady.

So yoga is like life -- props can set you free or hold you back.

So can your focus.

Say you're doing this:

Do you see how her hand is on the ground, flat palm AND her chest is rotated toward the ceiling? Those are both goals for the pose (extended side angle).

But what if you have to choose?

I used to try to get my flat palm on the floor, at any cost.

But then, one time an instructor talked a little more about opening your chest. She suggested we focus more on that. I did. I actually left my elbow on my knee. It felt SO much better. I used to hate this pose; not any more.

Once again - yoga is like life. 

Sometimes you can't do two things well at the same time. Sometimes you have to choose.

The yogini on the mat next to me could do all the things. She could do the thing from Wheel where you just stand straight up. Crazy. The thing where you take your toe in Standing Balance and hold your whole leg straight out to the side. And don't wobble at all. In Side Angle her palm was flat-smack on the floor & her sternum straight up to the ceiling.

I have also gathered that she goes all the time. I can't. Well, I could - if I never wanted to see my family.

So, I choose.

Save 1 non-working hour every week (or so), I choose them -

I make good choices. 

TGIF!

Pro-Birth

The "conservative base" insists Republican candidates be Pro-Life. Except, in my humble opinion, the position has nothing to do with life. The position is only Anti-Abortion. If you want "Pro" in the title of your position, may I suggest "Pro-Birth"?

A Pro-Life position would care about the baby/child/human after s/he comes into the world.

And that would mean making sure every s/he has access to adequate healthcare, decent primary education, and the ability to afford to even consider secondary education. On an even more basic level - no child should live in "food insecurity."

But poverty exists. In America. 15 million Americans live in poverty. Yes, like the pictures on TV. Except here.

Where do you suppose you'd find the highest poverty levels? Yep. Among families headed by single mothers. 40%. Forty percent. Overall, child poverty rose to 32% in 2010.

So if we care so much about making sure these babies are born, can we please do something about their lives?

Motherhood Moments: Laughter & Panic

This morning, I had one of those motherhood moments that immediately made me laugh.

Last night, I had one that made me panic and hate myself for a bit. I don't hate myself any more, but I doubt I'll ever laugh at it.

Both. Were opportunities. For learning. and For growth.

I love the growth, but could pass on the panic and guilt. I'm not sure that's possible though.

Here are the moments. Laughter first.

My daughter is nearly 2 and a half. A very verbal & social 2 and a half. But still very much 2 and a half. We started potty training her last Thursday. She's been doing amazing. Uh-Mazing. Like 0-2 accidents daily amazing. Now, mind you, we were mostly setting her on the potty every 30 minutes or less. But still, amazing. We even had a breakfast & park outing yesterday with Zero accidents.
What happens when you're too amazing? You get cocky. That's what.
I took her to the grocery store this morning. I asked her half-way through, "Do you need to sit on the potty?" A: "No." Okay, she's a big girl. She knows. Yes, but only 0.5 seconds before she pees.
So, right between milk & eggs. "Mommy, I have to go potty." Before "OK" could get out my mouth, pee was streaming down the cart. Oh, well. I had extra clothes for her, so off we went to change. We talked about how mommy would just take her, until she knows sooner & what a good girl she is for telling me. Then I had a talk with myself about bringing extra clothes for me. Then we finished the shopping. (Blissfully, only 2 more items in my pee-soaked shirt.)

Now, Panic.

My daughter likes to help me cook. I love that. But it's challenging. Finding a thing that's safe for her to do. Finding a safe way to do it. Even when you think you've got it just right, she might decide to jump up & down on the chair instead of cooking like she said she wanted to. Or, suddenly, the knives might be right there in her reach. Ack! Not relaxing. But I consider it good practice for when she gets older? Maybe I'm crazy. But I like her knowing & experiencing how her food happens. So I keep trying.
And I will keep trying after last night. (I think.) But MUCH much more carefully. Like, maybe you're over there doing totally fake cooking while I'm over here doing the real thing. Except, I bet that won't work, and she'll see through my facade.
Anyway, I've stalled long enough. My daughter got burned. Not badly, but literally.
I wasn't feeling my best, so we were having a lazy afternoon. Blue box Mac'n'cheese for dinner in front of football was up next. I told her she could help. I meant that she could help stir the sauce together. I set a timer, to show her how long the pasta had to cook before. Not having it. The empty box & a spatula? Yes! For 1 minute. But she wanted the real deal. So, I pulled the chair over and stood with her. I gave her a long spoon, and told her to be very careful. Sure, yes - my 2 and a half year old knows just how to be careful with hot water. You betcha.
You know what comes next. Over-vigorous stirring. Splash. Burned belly. Hysteria.

What I'm so glad didn't come next. Finger-pointing.

In my mind: That's exactly why I told you you couldn't help.
because who wants to blame themselves?
Out of my mouth: I am so sorry. It is my fault. I can't let you do things that I know might hurt you. Even if you get mad at me. I am so sorry.
because that's the truth.

** We removed the shirt, grabbed the boo-boo pad from the freezer, snuggled up & wiped away tears.

I'm sure in my husband's mind: Idiot! You're the adult. She's the child. Don't put her in harm's way just to shut her up.
because that's the truth.
Out of his mouth: There. You're okay. Mommy took good care of you.
because that's the truth too.
Then he finished dinner. Then we all snuggled in front of football & enjoyed our Mac'n'cheese.
Her belly is fine. She is fine. Our family is great.

It was completely, 100% my fault. I know that. My husband knows that. But he also knew that blaming me wasn't going to make it better.
My daughter might not know it was my fault. But she knows that it isn't hers. And she knows that mommy & daddy are a team. Even if we sometimes fail to stop her from getting hurt, we work together to take care of her.

And we always will.

Soy Delicious

Allergy friendly.
Lunches at my daughter's school have to be allergy friendly.
My daughter loves peanut butter. That is not allergy friendly.

I was telling my mom about some modifications I'd made to recipes recently to make them allergy friendly. She asked why I thought there were so many more allergies now than there used to be.
My answer? I have no clue. No clue.

Further, I have no clue why I can bring no nuts to school, but eggs, dairy, wheat, and all other common allergens are just dandy.

Deep thoughts for another day.

Bottom line: peanuts & all tree nuts are persona non grata.

Let's keep it light for today, and I'll just share some yummy recipes and their modifications. Actually, it's kind of a "big duh" modification. Soy nut butter.

The first one I bought was pretty yuck. It was chalky and a big fail for PBJ sandwiches. The second one (Soy Wonder) is better, but still no Peter Pan.

So, the main thing we're doing with these -- is baking. Soy-nut butter banana muffins have been a huge hit.

I found the original recipe via Pinterest. (Shock.) It's from Cooking Light.



The modifications I made were: 1. soy nut butter for the peanut butter (obviously). 2. 1 cup whole wheat flour for the white; I kept 1/2 cup white flour (for now). 3. vanilla yogurt for plain, because it's what I had. 4. I made them into muffins for easy school-day breakfast packing. It yields 16-18, takes 20-25 minutes at 350.

D.licious! Her teachers tell me how much she loves them, and I feel good about the protein punch, especially if I toss a soy-sage or hard-boiled egg in the bag!

The next frontier is this peanut butter granola, also found on Pinterest.



I might need a new jar of Soy Wonder real soon!

Fake it till you Make it

When people ask how you are, you say fine.
Everyone does. (Almost everyone.)
Some of us say so with a great big smile.
Some of us are much less convincing.
To some of my friends or even closer acquantainces (that's a thing, right?) - I say -

"Fake it till you make it."

Smiling when I don't especially feel like smiling.

It doesn't always happen.

But when it does? Magic.
It's good practice.
It reminds me how good it feels to feel good.
It reminds me how many reasons I have to feel good.


And what's more magic?
The other person smiles back.
Smiles make me happy.

PS - sometimes they don't smile back right away.
Kill 'em with kindness.
A totally over-played axiom.
And for a reason.
It works.
If you keep smiling at another person, there's only so long they can scowl back.
And if they keep scowling back forever & ever, well - so be it.

I'm not a religious person, but I remember this song from Sunday school. Do you?

The Magic Penny

Love is something if you give it away,
Give it away, give it away.
Love is something if you give away,
You end up having more.

It's just like a Magic Penny,
Hold on tight and you won't have any.
Lend it, spend it, and you'll have so many,
They'll roll all over the floor.

For love is something if you give it away,
Give it away, give it away.
Love is something if you give away,
You end up having more.



Truth.